Dumbasses of the Day!

Hey THUGS: If you're breaking into a car, make sure you don't also butt-dial 911 .

"Dos pendejos" courtesy of Fresno Police Department

Let’s go to Fresno, where a call came in to 9-1-1.

At first, the dispatcher didn’t hear anything. Then, during the 35-minute 911 call, she heard two men talking about "wanting to do drugs," then she heard one guy say Get the bolt and give me the hammer just in case.

The dispatcher then heard a window shatter and the men say they "found the prescription drugs."

She dispatched the police.

No sooner did the Dumbass Duo (pictured above) leave the scene of the crime then police pulled them over, and found the stolen prescription drugs inside their car.

THEN officers told them HOW they knew what was going on, leading one of the handcuffed guys to say, THIS FOOL CALLED 9-1-1?  DAMN!

Yes, the two 20-year-olds were arrested.  Hey PENDEJOS, you gotta treat committing crime like you would movie watching - turn off your damn cell phone!

Check out the 911 call!

Where the heck is

ZEPHYRHILLS, FLA?

Because THAT's where the winning Powerball lottery ticket worth $590.5 million was purchased.

Which means the folks who waited in this 3-hour line at the California/Nevada border got NOTHING for their efforts.  Except maybe a sun burn. Or heat stroke.

Courtesy of TWITTER

FUN FACT: Zephyrhills is 30 miles outside Tampa. 

FUN FACT II: Zephyrhills is worth 590 million points in Scrabble.

Psst . . . the next time there's Lotto fever, you should go to the Chevron ExtraMile in Orangecrest.  I went Saturday night an hour before sales were cut-off.  And NO ONE was in the store!

DUMBASSES of the DAY!

Hey HOME INVASION ROBBERS: If the victims kick your ass, you're doing it wrong.

Courtesy of Brevard County Sheriff's Department

To say a suspected home invasion robber was unsuccessful is an understatement.

Dude was beaten, kicked and shot with a stun gun!

Let's go to Palm Bay, Florida where 19-year-old Michael Maxwell (pictured above) and two of his loser friends stormed inside a home at 1am.

It's not known was Maxwell was after, but we now know what he got - a serious ass whuppin when the three victims inside the house fought back with their fists, feet, and a stun gun.

Maxwell was arrested at the hospital.  One of his accomplices, a 17-year-old who avoided the ass-kicking, was also arrested. LINK

DUMBASS #2

Hey THUGS: If you’re gonna nickel-and-dime someone during a burglary, you probably shouldn’t leave a trail of nickels and dimes back to YOUR house

Courtesy of Indian River County Sheriff's Department

Let's go to Vero Beach, Florida, where a homeowner discovered his place had been burglarized.

SOMEONE stole a computer, some guns, a sword . . . and a bunch of loose change the homeowner had been saving. 

Okay, who the hell steals loose change?  I mean, BESIDES the pendejo pictured above?

Police noticed about 40 coins on the ground near the front door – then they simply followed a trail of coins to the Michael Sherman's house down the street.  And yes, he WAS arrested. link

I guess you could say he was busted after dropping a dime on himself!

Dumbass Trifecta

Hey THUGS: If you’re gonna lock someone up while you burglarize their house, don’t lock them up in their gun closet

DOH!!

Let’s go to Houston, Texas where three home-invasion robbers did just that – they grabbed the homeowner and threw him in a closet, not knowing that's where the owner kept his GUN collection.

After grabbing one of the weapons, the owner came out of the closet . . . and shot one of the armed robbers in the shoulder and leg.

Not being a very supportive team, the two other burglars fled the scene, leaving their injured colleague to fend for himself. He ended up collapsing in the front yard before he was taken to the hsoptial, where he quickly ratted out the two other robbers who left him at the house. 

All three are facing robbery charges.  link