Happy Valentine's Day! And if there's one thing I truly cherish, it's STUPID people.

DUMBASS #1

THUGS: If you’re going to break into a car dealership, you don’t need to photocopy your face.

Courtesy of Ottawa Police Department

 Let’s go to the Canadian capital of OTTAWA, where someone broke in to a car dealership and apparently TRIED to break into one of the shiny new cars in the showroom.

While he didn't steal a car, he DID get away with some office supplies - but before fleeing, he made a photocopy of his face.

Are you kidding me?  Nope.

YOU know you’re a Dumbass when you break into a car dealership, and the only thing you test-drive is the PHOTO COPIER.

 

DUMBASS #2

Quick memo: If your neighbor’s dog grabbed your morning newspaper by accident, just let it go.

Let’s go to Lacey, Washington where homeboy walked out of his house to grab his morning paper, at the same time his next-door neighbor let his dog outside to grab HIS paper.

They subscribe to different newspapers, and the dog’s owner paper hadn’t arrived yet – but the other guy’s paper was delivered close to his driveway.  Uh oh.

Anyway, the dog grabbed the wrong paper. 

The neighbor approached the dog, described as an Akita-Chow mix, and tried to remove the paper from the dog’s mouth.  The dog then tried to remove the neighbor from the gene pool, and the newspaper subscriber had to be hospitalized with various injuries. 

Courtesy of AdoptDogtime.com. And if this dog has your newspaper in it's mouth, just let it go.

Q: What's black and white and red all over? 

A: A Dumbass trying to remove a newspaper from the mouth of an Akita-Chow mix. 

 (Thanks to my brother for giving me this epic story!)