DUMBASS of the WEEKEND!

Hey THUGS: If you're in jail, and you're trying to hide a cell phone from the guards, you might want to turn the damn thing OFF!

Courtesy of GETTY IMAGES...and a snickering X-ray attendant

Let’s go to Sri Lanka, where a prisoner got caught smuggling a cell phone when jail guards heard a ringing sound coming from his butt!

WHOA! 

Following THAT booty call, guards took the prisoner to the hospital, where doctors removed the Brownberry, er, I mean BLACKberry, along with a hands-free kit. 

And I worry about MY phone getting WET.

Hey, I understand not wanting to put the phone on vibrate, but c’mon!  Turn the damn thing off!

Dude told guards he had no idea how the phone got there.  Personally, I think he's just talking out of his ass.

GRAMMY TWEETS!

If you're not following me on Twitter (@JeffPopeRadio), you missed out on my Grammy coverage from last night!

I started by tweeting, "Miguel and Wiz Khalifa announcing the Grammy for Best Country Solo is like that former LAPD cop announcing the winner of the Nobel Peace Prize."

Let's recap:

Look, I can't lie. When Faith Hill and her hunky hubby Tim McGraw got up on stage together, I thought, "That's a damn cute couple.  And she's freakin hot!" 

Seriously, dude looked like a little boy standing next to . . . Kelly Rowland. And she's not even that tall.

Photo by John Shearer/Invasion/AP

Next time the 16-time Grammy nominated artist takes the stage, have him stand next to someone his own size.  Like Prince.  Or a random 4th grader.

Aside from my spelling her name wrong, this is self explanatory.  KALEY Cuoco stars on "The Big Bang Theory."

Urban is reportedly a judge on a singing show you're not watching.

Again, self explanatory.  Rihanna was beautiful, elegant, following the dress code, and was SMOKIN' HOT!

Speaking of dress code, God bless Kelly Rowland for totally ignoring it!