Yes, it's good to be back home after broadcasting live from Beaches Ocho Rios Resort and Golf Club.
However, our plane didn't arrive at LAX until 10:45pm last night...meaning Evelyn and I didn't get to our IE homes until well after 12:30am. THIS MORNING.
So yes, I'm tired as hell. Thank goodness the Dumbasses of the Day were easy to find.
Dumbasses #1 and #2
Hey THUGS: If you're going to carjack someone's Corvette, you might want to learn how to START A CORVETTE.
Let’s go to Oviedo, Florida where the driver of a Corvette had pulled over and turned off the car so he could text his wife when two armed men rolled up on him.
One pulled him OUT of the car at gunpoint, and the other jumped in the driver’s seat.
That’s when the putz behind the wheel starts yelling, “How do you start this damn thing?”
The thug with his gun pointed at the Corvette owner yells back, "It's a stick!"
The Corvette owner then yells, “You have to push down the clutch!"
Thug behind the wheel: “WHAT?! How do you start the damn car?!"
Corvette owner: "You have to push down the clutch!"
Thug behind the wheel: "WTF is a CLUTCH?!"
Needless to say, the carjackers never took the Corvette. And I’d like to thank our Driver Ed programs for NOT teaching a generation of thugs how to drive a stick, and THAT'S why I’m not giving up my 12-year-old Honda Prelude anytime soon. I’m thinking I’m safe from about 80% of the potential carjackers out there.
DUMBASS #3
Here’s a question for you indoor marijuana farmers – if some bad guys storm into your house and steal some marijuana smoking pipes, who should you NOT call to report the crime?
Let’s go to
. . . anyway, an indoor marijuana farmer was victimized earlier this week when armed robbers barged into his home and made off with some hooka pipes.
Rather than let it go like a SMART drug dealer, dude called police to report he had been robbed.
Police came over, saw all the drug paraphernalia, forgot why they were called in the first place, and arrested the 19-year-old robbery victim on drug charges.
Since you don't believe me, here's the link. Seriously, how many times to I have to tell drug dealers that if someone wants to rob you, they CAN! It's OPEN SEASON on you, because you can't call police to say you were robbed unless you want to go to jail!
