Dumbass #1

Hey thugs: if you’re wearing an ankle monitor while burglarizing a house, there’s no reason to leave your wallet behind . . .you know, because the cops already know you were there.

Courtesy of Broward County Sheriff's Department

Let’s go to Cooper City, Florida, where Dwight Miller did everything but leave his resume behind following a recent burglary.

He reportedly broke into a house and made off with $12,000 worth of jewelry and electronics…yeah, too bad he dropped his wallet during the burglary. 

When police ran his ID, they discovered he was on parole for a previous burglary. So they checked his ankle monitor, and sure enough – he was at the house at the time of the burglary.

Question for Dumbasses: Why do you bring your wallets with you when you commit crimes?  Are you worried about getting carded?

 

Dumbass numero dos

Amigo: if you keep calling 9-1-1 asking for a ride to Mexico, you’ll get a free ride.  I just won’t be to Mexico.

 

Let’s go to Immokalee, Florida, where Alvaro Francisco started calling 9-1-1 Saturday night, asking for a lift to Mexico – not an easy task for the Collier County Sheriff's department, since Mexico's 500 miles away. 

Each time, the dispatcher politely reminded Senor Francisco that requesting a ride to Mexico was NOT an emergency call, and he was in fact, abusing the system. 

By the TENTH call three hours later, police finally gave him the free ride he was looking for, but to jail.  And yes, he DID reek of alcohol, how’d you know?

Hey, I can't hate on that pendejo.  If my idea of America was living in Immokalee, Florida, I'd pretty much want a ride out of the country as well!

 

Video of the Day!

Q: What's better than FANS running onto the field, interrupting a soccer game?

A: When those fans are Golden Retrievers!