DUMBASS of the DAY!

Hey GUYS: If the phone rings, don't answer the IRON.

Let’s go to Poland, where a guy had to be hospitalized after burning his face.  

You see, he was helping his wife with the housework when the phone rang.  

Unfortunately, he didn’t pick up the phone – he picked up the IRON -  and burned the right side of his face.

Adding insult to injury, the injured buffoon slammed his head into the bathroom wall while rushing to pour cold water on his face.

Dude should be DAMN happy whoever was calling didn’t call back!!

Since you don't believe me, here's the story

 

Dumbass #2

Hey LADIES – if you’re getting worker’s comp for that busted ankle, and the jury sees video of you running in high heels to greet your BF at a public park before engaging in the type of love making that might be difficult with a bad ankle, you’re probably going to jail.

Courtesy of the San Mateo County Sheriff's Department - and two ugly parents.

Let’s go up north to San Mateo, where a 29-year-old female school janitor was getting worker’s comp for what she claimed was a severe ankle injury that kept her from working.  

Well, someone tipped off authorities that she was lying. 

So a private investigator followed her – and got video of her throwing her crutches into a car and running in high heels to meet her BF at a public park before engaging in a sex act, which the jury saw.  

As if THAT wasn’t embarrassing enough, doctors testified that the act they were doing could not have been done with a bad ankle.

Hmmm....yeah, just like you, I'm coming up with various positions that would be damn near impossible with an injured ankle...

Anyway, she got sentencted to 9 months in jail - and had the nerve to talk to a newspaper reporter who asked her about her "miraculous recovery" from a bad ankle.

Her response? "I guess love just helps one get over injuries."