Dumbass #1

Quick memo, thugs: If you’re gonna steal jewelry from a popular jewelry store, you probably shouldn’t try to try to sell it back to the same chain.

Courtesy of Lexington Police Department

Let’s go to Pikeville, Kentucky - where the men are men, and the sheep know it.

And that’s where several men broke into a Castle jewelry store, and made off with $150,000 worth of jewelry, including several pieces of gold jewelry that are unique to Castle jewelry stores.

So with $150K jewelry, the men then lost it all when they doubled-down on stupid.

They tried to sell the jewelry one town over – at ANOTHER Castle jewelry store in Lexington - a city in Kentucky you may have heard of. One guy who didn’t realize the jig was up was arrested. 

 

Dumbass #2

Here’s a quick memo while you're enjoying nature – never, ever approach a horse from behind.  EVER.

FAILING THAT, do not ever say to a friend, “Hold my beer. Watch this.”

 

Let’s go to Cheyenne, Wyoming - where a college buddy of mine lives, and sent me this juicy story of stupid!

 Two friends were hanging out in some nearby stables, when one of them -  who has probably never been around horses -  thought it would be a good idea to surprise one of the animals by sneaking up behind it, and spanking it.

After asking his friend to hold his beer, he approached the animal from behind, and smacked the beast with an open palm.  

When he REGAINED consciousness, he was in the hospital with a broken cheek and missing teeth.  

And as nurses had to tell his visitors, "No, he’s not an Indianapolis Colts fan - that horseshoe indentation across his face if from when he got kicked."

My God!  Who doesn't already know the first rule of NORCO? DO NOT APPROACH A HORSE FROM BEHIND.  That dolt is lucky to still be alive meaning Darwin is a little miffed this morning.