DUMBA$$ of the DAY!

Quick memo, thugs: If you’re going to counterfeit money, make sure you pay attention to the details…like making sure you don’t put ABRAHAM LINCOLN on your fake 100 dollar bill.

What a REAL $100 bill looks like, courtesy of my general manager.

It’s all about the Abrahams, baby! 

Let’s go to Rhode Island, where a 25-year-old had successfully got away with passing fake $100 bills at a "French Department store" on back-to-back days. 

So he went back to well one more time...and it didn't go well for him, as the clerk busted him.

And he was SHOCKED!!  I mean, he had a damn near perfect copy of a $100 bill…he had the treasury stamp on it, had serial numbers, perfect color, perfect feel of a 100 bill, perfect font . . . OH DAMN!  He put Lincoln on the bill!! 

What a real $5 bill looks like, courtesy of everyone else at the radio station.

How do you work on the most intricate details of a counterfeit hundred dollar bill, and you put the WRONG guy on it??! Forget about THIS pendejo, what about the two previous clerks who had no problem taking a hundred dollar bill with Abraham Lincoln on it? Four score and seven years ago, those people were STILL idiots! 

However, those dolts are still not as stupid as the dude in Kentucky who was passing off counterfeit one dollar bills.

Seriously, what's the point of making fake $1 bills?

(dis) Honorable Mention

Hey POTHEADS: Who should you NEVER ask for a joint?

a) Snoop Dogg

b) Wiz Khalifa

c) a judge

Let’s go to Cincinnati - a city whose football team will drive you to do drugs, but I digress -  and that’s where a 19-year-old was in a courtroom on a drug charge, and the judge offered the guy a chance to stay out of jail, if he would just give up the marijuana.  

But that chance went up in smoke when the DOPE told the judge giving up marijuana would be tough because he likes smoking weed, and he could try to quit…and then he asked the judge if he could have just one more joint?

He’ll be sentenced in 2 weeks.

SANTA 'PAWS' in SB!

How would you like your dogs to take a picture with Santa?

Join me tomorrow morning as I'm emceeing the SANTA PAWS fundraising event at the Humane Society of San Bernardino.

How cute would it be for your pooch to have a picture with Santa??

Here's a picture of my wife and I, and our fur kids Blanca and Jax a couple years ago!

Plus, there will be raffles, vendors, and other pet-friendly stuff to buy.  NEED MORE INFO?