VIDEO FAIL of the DAY

THUGS: If you're going to rob a convenience store, make sure the clerk isn't armed - and the floors aren't waxed.

Otherwise, you'll REALLY look stupid!

 NO, I have no idea where this came from - but does it really matter?

Dumbass QUIZ TIME!

A police officer has just asked you for your driver's license and registration.

What do you give the officer?

a) Your driver's license

b) Your registration

c) an ice-cold beer

Let’s go to Kent, Washington, where witnesses at a 7-11 called police because of some 'suspicious behavior' going on behind the wheel of a car parked outside.  

When an officer walked up to the car, and asked 26-year-old Omar Medina for his driver’s license, he instead handed the cop an ice-cold Keystone Light.

Even the car wasn’t moving and was still in park, the engine WAS on . . . and since only a drunken moron would give a cop a beer, dude was popped for DUI.

And a KEYSTONE LIGHT?  I’m surprised the officer didn’t beat his ass for that obvious diss! And news cameras could have recorded that beating, and NO JURY would EVER convict the cop for the beating because it was Keystone Light.

Dumbass of the Day!

It’s vacation season, and you’ll probably want to spend some time with nature in the next couple of months, so here’s an important tip:

Don’t throw BBQed meat at a bear!

Courtesy of KISSYOURASSGOODBYE.COM 

Let’s go to Alaska, where a man came across a bear outside a campground where he'd just attended a cookout.  

In one of the lamest efforts ever to shoo away a bear, our hero threw a hunk of meat - meat fresh off the BBQ - in the bear’s direction.

Then the half-wit threw ANOTHER piece of meat. 

And just as he was about to toss another piece, the bear decided to make the buffet self-serve and pounced on him.  

Dude was found back at the campground taking a shower, trying to remove all the blood from his body and his clothing – and, I don’t wanna say he was drunk, but campground officials had to convince the guy he had been attacked by a bear.

You show me a moron who throws meat at a bear, and I’ll show you a moron who just forgot he’s made of meat.

Graduation cake FAIL

"Oh, you meant CAP and gown. My bad!" Said by a total Dumbass

Let's the PUNS FLY!

When Seattle's Charlie FURBUSH pitched last night against the Angels, teenage boys sitting near me began to snicker.

ESPECIALLY when the Angels scored 7 runs in the 6th inning, mostly when Furbush was pitching. 

Of course, I had to break out with some play-by-play, mostly juvenile of course...

" . . . and FURBUSH is taking a pounding tonite!"

" . . . and the ANGELS score again, as they continue to take the wood to FURBUSH..."

" . . . and FURBUSH comes high and inside with a little chin music . . ."

" . . .and now it's time for tonight's MASENGIL MOMENT, as FURBUSH looks to eliminate TROUT."

And when Seattle's manager decided to remove Furbush for a relief pitcher, I yelled for everyone is section 111:

"And Seattle has decided to stop the bleeding by sending FURBUSH to the showers!"

Okay, I'm done being a 14-year-old!

Have you heard about the woman who lost her teaching job because her ex-husband is a freak?

Meet Carie Charlesworth.

During the News Popester Style, I mentioned yesterday how she lost her job as a 2^nd-grade teacher at a private school because, in January, her ex-husband showed up at the school, violating a restraining order, and forcing the school to go on lockdown.

Apparently, the school didn't want to go through that drama ever again.  

Here's the termination letter:

 Well, there's good news!! An LA school official has now offered her a job! link